This paper, by Wendy W Fok, includes part of the conversation she and I had back in this post about strap on culture. Here’s the result of her research:
Wendy did a great job of really explaining the penetrative space for women. Bravo!
xxx fsk
sugar daddy for lunch
Your intrepid Kitten has been doing research on online dating for writing and a possible documentary, and came across a unique phenomenon called “Sugar Daddy Dating”. Back in offline days, I wondered how ladies and lads of leisure would find their sugar pops. These days, there are many sites proferring poontang worthy girls and boys.
The funny thing in all of this is the kitten doesn’t find money or its trappings impressive. Rather, it tends to allow more douche baggery as the tax bracket goes up. So messing with these men is 30% of this process, while research being the other 70%.
From SeekingArrangement.com to SugarDaddyforMe.com, FSK has put up profiles, to see what kind of man, wealthy or not, would respond. Oh, does the Kitten have tales to tell…
At the same time, FSK put profiles up on Lavalife.com, Nerve.com, Cupid.com….etc… So much to tell, from such slim pickings. But comparision “shopping” has yielded the following finds:
Most men online are truly poor communicators. Online dating used to be for the geeky and dorky, but now the creepy, jocky, wall streety, artsy and fartsy all apply to score some online booty. And the really articulate - the writers, sociopaths, etc - are usually too charming/cheesey and leave the reader of their missives either sugar shocked or needing a shower. (more…)
The Playstation
Random Gentle Sex Master (RGSM)
Easy to turn on. Hard to beat. You are The Playstation.
You’re a nice girl, and you have lots of sex. It’s therefore highly likely that you’re attractive, and you’re certainly outgoing & friendly. Plus, this healthy physical attitude of yours indicates deeper emotional well-being and stability. Unheard of. When guys dare to dream, they dream of you.
You don’t get attached too easily, and, to wit, you’re not necessarily looking for something long-term right now. That’s a bigger asset than you know. Though, physically speaking, you’re open to anything, you’re keeping your emotional side well-protected. This means there won’t be a lot of wreckage to clean up whenever you decide to settle down.
In the meantime, the men you share yourself with actually respect you. Like them, you enjoy sex for its own sake and don’t need any other validation for pleasure than pleasure itself. Hopefully, you have the good sense to blow off anyone who thinks less of you for that. Usually, this is the part of the description where we offer some life-correcting advice, but honestly, we can’t think of anything about you we’d change. Keep on fucking, partner.
*****
Pretty accurate, fellas…game on!
xx fsk
Dear FSK:
What does the word “feral” mean?
D in Dallas
Hi D:
Thanks for the question. You’re one of many who are interested in the meaning and usage of the word “feral”.
The dictionary meaning:
fe·ral
adj.
Existing in a wild or untamed state.
Having returned to an untamed state from domestication.
Of or suggestive of a wild animal; savage: a feral grin.
[From Latin fera, wild animal, from ferus, wild. See ghwer- in Indo-European Roots.]
For me, the word truly states my erotic being. Once domestic and predictable, now completely wild and unrestrained.
Isn’t it a fabulous word?
xx FSK
Hello “feral sex kitten�:
I’m a graduate fellow at Princeton’s School of Architecture. I’m currently taking a feminism class taught by Liz Grosz.
My thesis goes along the following lines:
- writing a paper on the ’strap-on culture’.
- inhabiting or defining a space which is innately a ‘masculine’ space.
- patriarchical culture, the concentration on the psychological undertone of being the penetrator, similar to this article.
would like to know if you have any resources or suggestions?
please let me know. many thanks in advance.
Best,
_WF
…constraint[’s] nothing more than a game, rarely innocent but fundamentally vain.
–Marcel Bénabou: Rules and Constraint
Dear WF:
Very interesting topic you are asking about. Being the penetrator, the man, the fucker, from the perspective of a woman.
My personal experience inhabiting the penetrator’s space, which I truly believe is masculine in approach and methods, was definitely an eye opener for me. Strapping on for a girl is much different than strapping on for a guy. With a woman, it’s a place we’ve both been, the bottom, and its politics we negotiate well. We play at the roles, with no real bite in my psyche to conquer, control, or be “the man�. Its all been very playful and very feminine with women.
From a friend:
Since you asked, here are some more thoughts on the “Daddy” fantasy.
I wish I could say that I am not interested in fucking my own daughter, but I’ll cop to this much: in the deepest perviest recesses of my mind I hope that I someday have a slutty 18-year-old daughter running around the house in skimpy bathing suits. It’s a fantasy, don’t have me arrested just yet, I am not even a father yet. As I grow older the fantasy tends to fade and I find myself feeling much more protective of my family.
BUT.
Being called “daddy” in bed is a huge turn on, and I think I finally figured out why. It’s not just because it’s taboo (but that helps). I think it’s because it’s HER fantasy–women grow up idolizing daddy. He’s the perfect man. Fucking daddy is the ultimate taboo and the ultimate turn-on. So when the woman in my arms is turned on and horny and wriggling and bucking and moaning “daddy” it’s the ultimate admission that she’s lost in her erotic self, at least to me. I love that. Nothing turns me on as much as a turned-on woman.
It’s also sign of submission and I am VERY dominant. And perverted if you hadn’t got that already.
Dave
_________________________________
I agree with his analysis but for some women, like me, its not the real daddy we are seeking or fucking, its the Superman, the imagined uber masculine figure - in control, in lust, able to turn me on and let me let go, coax me verbally, get me to give in, demand it from me, not let me squirm away from it.